Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
