you guys were way drunker than both of me
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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