Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
