his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
