how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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