She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
