Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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