It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
