It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
