Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
