I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
