...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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