so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
