I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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