A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
