i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
