did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
