Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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