I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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