I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
