have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
