my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
