thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
