I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
