worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
