pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
