bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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