How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
