Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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