Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
