: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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