Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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