I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
