allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
