If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
