you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
