Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
