If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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