There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
