If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
