My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize