I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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