Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
