I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
