You can't motorboat a personality
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
