question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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