Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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