She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
