she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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