This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
