I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
