Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
