the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
