Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
