Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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