theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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