when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
