I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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