Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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