I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She needs sedatives and a leash
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
