just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
