he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
