u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
