please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
