just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize